In March I returned to Rwanda for the first time since the genocide. Our main aim was to spend a few days viewing the gorillas and I was totally unprepared for all the other experiences that we had. My memories of my previous visits were made up of images of intensely cultivated steep terraced hillsides, smiling people and I wondered how the feel of the place might have changed. We got to visit The Genocide Memorial in Kigali, which was very moving and upsetting and forced me to address what had really happened. Living only a couple of countries away I had been able to ignore the realities of the horror. It made it all the more amazing to see how Rwanda was bouncing back and growing. The streets are clean, the government seems to be doing their job, and I felt that the people were happy with their leaders. We were told that the recovery had not been instantaneous and it was only in the last five years or so that investors and the economy returned. The Rwandans had done the impossible and decided not to let the past get in the way of the recovery. This involves more forgiveness and focus than I could ever manage.

The Gorilla experience was even better than I remembered it. We were lucky and found our assigned groups quickly on each of our days. I actually felt as if I had been cheated out of a long climb through the lovely forest. We were hiking on the slopes of huge volcanoes that are blessed with lots of rain and rich soil so that the vegetation looked as if it had gone completely wild and was growing an inch a minute. I had visions of us being swallowed by it.

I do not know how to adequately describe the sensation of sitting quietly amongst a group of huge gorillas. I know that words will fail me. It is not just the physical presence of the apes or their fascinating behavior; there is something else far bigger than that and different from other wildlife experiences. I think it is mostly to do with their eyes and the fact that unlike most other species that I look at on safari their eyes really are a window to their souls. One makes eye contact with lions, buffaloes and all sorts of other things but you never feel that they are trying to get inside your head. With the gorillas there were times that those soft brown eyes would seek mine out and lock, and I felt as if there was a charge of query, interest, pondering, curiosity, all sorts of different emotions that represented above all communication person to person. One does not get used to this from a totally wild animal and it was like a physical jolt every time that it happened.

We had them show off to us. Once a little baby bored with his family dragged a round gourd to and fro in front of us trying to get a reaction, our giggles only encouraged him and we had to retreat as he kept wanting to approach us to touch. We had sub adults purposely come and brush past us or and twice they grabbed our clothes to try and drag us somewhere. The silverbacks had different feelings about us. They usually tolerated us and I do not think that they ever felt threatened, but they did occasionally feel the urge to put us in our place or reassert their dominance by charging with gnashing of teeth and chest thumping and generally scaring us witless. On one occasion the big silverback charged, picked up our guide like we would pick up a heavy cushion and then squashed him while he glowered at us daring us to do anything other than cower in front of him. He was actually was very gentle given that he could tear the man limb from limb and the guide got up totally unscathed. What a buzz it was.

Kwaheri for now,Ninian


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